So I made a post the other day about how I’ve been doing pretty well the past few days, which I ended by semi-jokingly saying “I’ll probably screw up again at some point but for the moment I’m happy”.
Thing is, that was something that was quietly worrying me - which is always worrying me - that I WOULD screw up again and that I would be back to square one.
Usually it’s a feeling that’s firmly entrenched in my subconscious and it affects my everyday decisions, but owing to my good progress the past week or so, I’ve been trying to ignore it (save that one instance of me voicing it, even semi-jokingly). But it’s still there, and it’s been getting ever so slightly louder during yesterday and today.
And as such, today hasn’t been quite as productive as I would have liked.
So I was about to turn off my computer and go to bed, when I remembered that I’d been sent a message the other day on my Facebook Page. (To be honest, I barely use my Page - it’s not like I’m anybody well-known who would necessitate having one - but I created it cause I thought it’d be good to put all the stuff I do in one place - YouTube, writing for Vada, acting, singing etc.)
The message was from someone who had seen my coming out documentary. This man messaged me the other day with a long and very kind message telling me how much he loved it, and so I had responded to him telling him what a lovely surprise his message was, and basically giving some of my reasons for making the documentary. He had replied in the wee hours of last night but I hadn’t got around to reading it until just now.
Simply put, I guess the universe must have known that I needed a bit of a pick-me-up.
The man’s message was very long, but just as lovely as his first one, going into detail about what he loved about the documentary - as well as about some of my videos on my advice channel for people with organisational problems! Amongst other things, he told me that - and I’m paraphrasing - he admired how I could take the time to work on a documentary to help others figure things out and find answers when I’ve got a lot on my plate myself.
And get this - at the end he said “Thank you for everything”.
It was such a genuine, heartfelt and touching message to receive - and it’s shown me that I can make a difference to people, that it is worth me making the effort to get a hold on these problems I’m facing on a daily basis if it means I can continue to help others, whether it be through YouTube, through acting work, or through some as-yet-undiscovered way.
And the message came EXACTLY when I needed it.
So to that gentleman I want to say: “No, thank YOU, sir!”
And thank you again, universe. You’ve got my back.